write_away | Friday Rants and Raves

My bear story is out in the Far Orbit anthology--which is on sale for under a buck right now, so grab it while it's hot! Greg Benford is the headline author for that one.

I'm waiting impatiently for the Writers of the Future results. My dream "response" day is the day where I get a call from WotF, a snail mail acceptance from F&SF, and an email acceptance from Streets of Shadows. All three of those have Ben stories, so it would be a mad confluence. And hugely unlikely. But I can dream.

I'm working my novel synopsis in preparation for going to MisCon over Memorial Day--DAW Books is guesting, so I'm hoping to do a pitch. All my shorts are driving me crazy right now.

Wow, you're doing great! You're so much more productive than I am. :p

Well, I'm laboring under a deadline, here, so I have to be productive. ;)

I managed some brainstorming during the Salt Lake ComicCon FanX and realized that the Current Thing is probably going to be novella-sized by the time it's done. This managed to kill any drive I had to write it, sadly. I don't need to spend two months' worth of blood, sweat, tears, and swearing on yet another stupid-length story that no one will buy.

Which is not to say I won't finish it, because this is a story I've wanted to tell for awhile--and needs to be told. But it's on a back burner while I figure out exactly how to get an ending that both satisfies the reader and doesn't leave one of the characters absolutely wrecked at the end.

I'm only just beginning to make those decisions. It used to be all about what I wanted to write but since I decided that I want to try to sell my work I've been trying to pick out which of my ideas might be more salable.

Ugh, things are going terribly.

The next story idea I had picked just doesn't make me care enough, so I started questioning whether I should return to my back-burner massive trilogy idea, but the reason why I set it aside in the first place (aka being incredibly overwhelming) is still true, so I haven't made any progress there either. I realized I've never actually been in this situation before, and that in the past whenever I've started on a new story it's been a "it chose me" kind of deal. Here I'm trying to move on simply because I need to start on the next thing, and it's a struggle.

I've decided to try being gentle for a while and see if that gets me anywhere better, but it's hard to fight the feeling that I'm not accomplishing anything / should be trying harder / blah blah do better. There's no one to tell me whether I'm doing things right or doing enough, but I still feel everyone's eyes on my back.

Basically I'm flailing through a new kind of transition with little sense of direction and a lot of negative feelings.

What are you waiting for before starting the trilogy idea? Is there some point when it will become less overwhelming? I would think that you just have to bite the bullet and start writing. Or am I missing something and being self-centered here? Because I would definitely go with that one if I was in your situation.

I might also rework the other idea so that it's more compelling to me. Could you do that?

I hope you figure out something that works for you.

One of those two options is probably what will end up happening, I just don't know which. The trilogy is a little complicated, and by complicated I really mean carries a lot of baggage, because I've been working on some form of it since 2005, and I used it for my undergrad honors thesis, but it's evolved basically into a vague premise with deeply developed characters, where the actual plot for the next incarnation of the story is very up in the air but at the same time sort of weighed down by all the previous incarnations. What really trips me up is the worldbuilding, planning and broader plot, because I'm going for a sort of alternate-history-earth, with political upheaval and takeover and refugees going into hiding and other things I really don't have a handle on but I want to be very plausible compared to current society. So I feel very constrained by realism, and very ignorant of what I'm trying to make realistic, and research is exhausting. I know the best thing to do is to just start writing some of it, but any scene I have in mind is framed by the characters' sociopolitical circumstances, so I can barely get anything down before I hit something I don't know yet, and the noise starts building up in my head of everything I have to figure out.

I know what I really want to do is write that one, but when I started working on my last project I would get an idea for the trilogy once in a while and file it away, and I began to think that I might be able to just keep compiling those bits and pieces as I worked on other projects until I built up a better understanding of the story and thereby chipped away at the sense of doom I feel when I try to look at the whole thing at once. That may or may not be true, but right now I don't feel any closer to getting my head around things than I did the last time I was trying to work on it, when I decided I should set it aside for my own mental health and pursue the new idea that was pulling on me.

Sorry, that's quite a rant (though rant is in the title of the post, right? :) but that's the state of my brain at the moment. I know I'll figure out something eventually. Eventually just needs to be soon.

Ah okay, I can understand that. I get that way with historical fiction because I start worrying about all the little things I could get wrong just because I don't know everything that I don't know so how do I know to research some things that I would never think of?

Maybe it would be best to do what you've been doing and collect those bits and pieces on the side. You could take the research one bit at a time as well as the character and world and plot stuff.

On the other hand it might be better to face it head on since that baggage you were talking about from working on it so long might just increase as time goes on. I don't know.

If you ever want to bounce ideas off someone you can PM me or find me on Skype.

Thanks. Yeah, it's a similar situation to historical stuff. No wonder everyone used to say "write what you know," lol. I'd much rather be able to make everything up. But we'll see what happens, and I'll keep you updated. How are your stories going?

I'm being really lazy. It's not even a writer's block problem or anything. I've learned to tell the difference between a problem that means I need to step back and look at what I'm doing and sheer laziness, and this is the latter.

I've made some progress on my Little Mermaid story though.

I know what you mean. Lazy is an annoying beast. But that's good about the Mermaid!

Hmm. I've done some study in sociology and I know we have some History people here - if you want to pm me the specifics, maybe I can point you in the right direction?

Some outside input might help, that would be great. I'll PM you this weekend or maybe Monday and describe what I've been thinking. Thanks for the offer!

I've made a lot of progress on my "epic", but then hit a wall. There just seemed like too many pieces, and it didn't seem solid enough yet. I don't understand my antagonists yet, I am introducing more characters than I feel like I can handle, and I'm not sure how exciting any potential reader will actually find it. I don't know whether or not to keep chipping away at it, or take a break to clear my head.

So, I've kind of done the latter over the past week. I've worked on a different story, which is definitely not an epic, and much more simple. Hopefully I can keep it a little more straight forward.

I know that feeling where the number of characters gets overwhelming. I had one story with 11 POVs that I jumped around between and each one of them had other people that they knew and it was really hard to keep track of them all.

Working on a simpler story while you clear your head sounds like a good idea. I hope you get past your wall soon.

Arg, yeah, large casts are difficult. I somehow tend to end up with five narrators and it never works out. And I definitely know the "wait everything is going everywhere aaaaah" kind of feeling.

Good luck!

Blah, POV narrators are tough. I have one main protagonist, but because there's so much going on in the story it'd be impossible to have it follow her alone. It's nuts how much can develop, and it feels like it's never going to come together smoothly. I tend to try to write certain plot points straight from start to finish, and later I'll try to fit them in to the main story. But so much of what I write, I think, should I just cut this for pacing?

Real life has been a pain, so I haven't had the energy to do any intensive writing. Short version: I do not work in a queer friendly office, or even a particularly queer friendly /state/.

I have however found myself writing several genderqueer characters in a new story, almost as if I have a deep reserve of spite inside of my brain. But that actually fits in with a developing theme in this story, so I'm going with it.

I'm sort of in that slightly fiddly stage of a fantasy novel where I have to figure out how my new species even works. Except since they're sort of spirits who interact with humans so I have to figure out the metaphysical framework of my universe and how souls even work. Even though I know at some point I'll just have to hand wave it and basically go "look these are my assumptions go with it," I don't particularly like doing it.

Also I found notes on a novel from when I was 15, which was surreal.

I can relate to the queer troubles and the spite. I was knitting presents for everyone back in December and when I was working on the ones for my homophobic brother and his even more homophobic girlfriend I was having fun watching stuff with gay characters while I worked.

Then there was a fellow writer that I started talking to and she seemed really nice but then it turned out that she was one of those "hate the sin, love the sinner" types. I decided to test out the reaction I would get if I tried to talk about my gay couples so I started gushing about my then current lesbian couple with a "so you'd be okay with me going on about how cute my couples are, right?" Her answer was "it won't bother me but I can't promise to see or understand how cute they are". I decided it wouldn't work out if her attitude toward queer couples was that different from straight couples. But I went on and wrote my adorable lesbian couple and loved every minute of it.

I wish you luck with your projects. I'm sure you'll figure out how this species of yours works.

Real life has been a bit tough lately.

But I am finally beginning to write again, starting with fanfic. I've been carrying a little notebook around with me and scribbling ideas in it. So that's something.

Edited 2014-04-26 03:18 (UTC)

That is definitely something. I love looking back at all the notes I've scribbled down. I've gotten some good stories out of that.

What fandom(s) do you write for?

Wow this is a late reply, sorry!

Currently writing for Hannibal, if I feel up to it, I might write for some other fandoms as well. :)

Real life sucks a lot. I can sympathize.

I habitually carry notebooks with me! (Though it is difficult to find bags big enough to carry them sometimes) It helps me remember things and to just note interesting people around me. Also, it makes it look like I'm taking notes in boring meetings.

If I'm going anywhere I might be waiting or sitting bored for more than five minutes, a notebook must be involved.

Friday Rants and Raves - April 25

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