Being a Writer
Apr. 17th, 2014 11:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ljwrites posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
write_awayDo you find that having a writer's temperament or talent affects your life in other areas, for better or for worse? Here are the ways it's affected me:
- My only real economic value is as a writer. In my day job I keep falling into translation work. It's something I couldn't do if I weren't bilingual, of course, but that's just the bare minimum requirement. I make money with translation because constructing phrases and getting ideas across clearly is what I'm good at, really all I've ever been good at.
- Even when I'm not writing things down I keep exercising the same muscles. I teach subjects that have nothing to do with writing, but my most effective teaching comes from my creative sensibilities, not whatever knowledge I might have. I synthesize, adjust, and add nuance; I use Jon Stewart and V for Vendetta to teach international law concepts because I see the connections, the same way I do when I write.
- I use words as a weapon and a shield, sometimes in terrible wounding ways. I have inadvertently hurt relationships and feelings because of this, usually because I was right in but hurtful ways. It's something I'm working on, because having insight and the words to express it is no excuse to harm people.
- I love words despite their destructive potential (or maybe because of it). I pore over them and chew them over in my mouth. When someone is struggling with a word to use I'm almost always the person to supply them, and they're almost always the right words. This also means I am an inveterate interrupter, something else I am trying to change.
- In the end, I have never had any other ambitions. Looking back, I rather naively got a law degree because I was told I could get the financial security and time to be a writer that way. The results were mixed. I was largely a zombie through higher education--the only times I showed the professional hustle and passion my parents so wanted for me was when I was working on writing projects.
- Even while trying hard not to be a writer, I was writing anyway. I wrote on the backs of used paper, in notebooks that my mother would throw away, on a computer once I learned to use one. I wrote fanfic when I got an internet connection. As I moved up the education ladder and became increasingly confused about where I was going, the times when I wrote were some of the few hours of my day that felt real.
It's not always easy to like this part of myself. I still have a suspicion of artistic types as shifty and untrustworthy, no doubt through the lens of parental disapproval. Surrendering to this strange possession was like relaxing for the first time in my life. I still do my day job, and try to be productive in my stunted way, but I'm better aware of how this writing disease stretches its tentacles into every corner of my life. I've also come to acknowledge that the pages of my own creation are where I truly live, whether I like it or not.
- My only real economic value is as a writer. In my day job I keep falling into translation work. It's something I couldn't do if I weren't bilingual, of course, but that's just the bare minimum requirement. I make money with translation because constructing phrases and getting ideas across clearly is what I'm good at, really all I've ever been good at.
- Even when I'm not writing things down I keep exercising the same muscles. I teach subjects that have nothing to do with writing, but my most effective teaching comes from my creative sensibilities, not whatever knowledge I might have. I synthesize, adjust, and add nuance; I use Jon Stewart and V for Vendetta to teach international law concepts because I see the connections, the same way I do when I write.
- I use words as a weapon and a shield, sometimes in terrible wounding ways. I have inadvertently hurt relationships and feelings because of this, usually because I was right in but hurtful ways. It's something I'm working on, because having insight and the words to express it is no excuse to harm people.
- I love words despite their destructive potential (or maybe because of it). I pore over them and chew them over in my mouth. When someone is struggling with a word to use I'm almost always the person to supply them, and they're almost always the right words. This also means I am an inveterate interrupter, something else I am trying to change.
- In the end, I have never had any other ambitions. Looking back, I rather naively got a law degree because I was told I could get the financial security and time to be a writer that way. The results were mixed. I was largely a zombie through higher education--the only times I showed the professional hustle and passion my parents so wanted for me was when I was working on writing projects.
- Even while trying hard not to be a writer, I was writing anyway. I wrote on the backs of used paper, in notebooks that my mother would throw away, on a computer once I learned to use one. I wrote fanfic when I got an internet connection. As I moved up the education ladder and became increasingly confused about where I was going, the times when I wrote were some of the few hours of my day that felt real.
It's not always easy to like this part of myself. I still have a suspicion of artistic types as shifty and untrustworthy, no doubt through the lens of parental disapproval. Surrendering to this strange possession was like relaxing for the first time in my life. I still do my day job, and try to be productive in my stunted way, but I'm better aware of how this writing disease stretches its tentacles into every corner of my life. I've also come to acknowledge that the pages of my own creation are where I truly live, whether I like it or not.
no subject
Date: 2014-04-18 05:48 am (UTC)One positive use I've found for my observational and expressive talents was as a means for empathy instead of aggression. The difference between "You control people because you can't control yourself" and "That must be so hard, feeling that you have no control" was small (they're based on the same observation) but tremendous, and I had to undergo a lot of personal growth and soul-searching until I started using the latter more. I still slip up from time to time. I'm an angry person, lol.
I'm so glad you like your writer self. It gives me hope that I can do the same, and I think I'm getting there.
no subject
Date: 2014-04-18 04:45 pm (UTC)It's very interesting to me how certain things may be observed but are better kept to oneself or must be carefully phrased to frame the observation in a different way. We value honesty above many qualities, but we're also remarkably sensitive creatures. Actually one of the most insightful chapters on writing characters that I've ever read talked about how people don't change until it's too painful to remain the same. I think about that fairly often.