Taking and Giving Feedback

[ljwrites]

I've finished Part 2 of Plot Versus Character (better than Part 1, but still frustrating in a number of ways) and am looking for enough free time to write out a full review. In the meantime, here are a couple of older posts of advice on taking and giving feedback, summarized below:

How to Take Criticism (LJ version has comments)

This post was written with the premise that you're trying to learn from feedback, Not that taking a non-learning approach to writing is bad in any way, but that the post was for those who have this interest.

1. Don't get defensive
- It won't help you learn if you try to defend yourself from criticism, and it's just not polite to dismiss other people's readings of your story.

2. Not everyone will like your writing and that's okay
- Even if you don't agree with the critique, it's not the end of the world if someone doesn't like some aspect of your writing. There are valid different readings of your story, and you can't control the way people read other than through being as clear as you can.

3. Thank your critic
- Not because the critic is always right, but because people are naturally resistant to change and coming from a place of gratitude helps you overcome that natural inertia to learn whatever you can from the critique.

4. Acknowledge and work on flaws
- Self-explanatory. If, after gratitude and reflection, you see a point in the criticism, work on it. This is the essence of learning from feedback.

5. Accept the validity of different views
- Sometimes you won't end up agreeing with your critic, and that's fine too. You're not a bad person and the critic is not a bad person for it.

6. Remember that you are not what you write
- Even if everyone doesn't rave about your writing, you're still Okay (to use a Lamott-ism). The important thing, if you want to learn and grow, is not to be perfect but to work on your craft. Listening and being open to criticism are a part of that.


How to Give Feedback (LJ version)

Whether as a reader, beta-reader, editor, or family/friend, we are sometimes moved to or asked to comment on other people's works. This post was a compilation of tips on how to make such comments as helpful as possible to the creator.

1. Do It for Yourself

Paradoxically, I believe you give the most helpful advice when you give it with your own learning in mind. That way your comments will be better thought-out, more comprehensive, and more learning-oriented because you yourself are trying to learn. When you give feedback, approach it from a learning frame of mind (or "growth mindset," if you're familiar with Carol Dweck's book Mindset.)

2. Give Reality-Based Reasons for Your Reactions

This was really the core of the post. By reality I mean what the creator actually did, used a certain sequence of events, a plot twist etc. By reason I mean the reason or principle that makes this specific choice was good or bad (or maybe both), e.g. it's better to set up a character before the action begins. By reaction I mean your emotional, intellectual, moral etc. response to the creator's choice, such as boredom or immersion. So your reaction might be "I'm bored" or "OMG this is great," but find out why you feel that way--what choice the creator made caused it, and why. This helps both you and the creator learn, see Point 1.

3. Be Honest About the Good and the Bad

Neither you nor the creator will learn much from your feedback if you hold back. It you have a commitment to learning through your own commentary, be honest and don't shy away from either the merits or flaws of a work.

4. Honesty Does Not Equal Being a Dick

Don't conflate honesty with being rude. If you're freaking out and dumping on someone, in fact, that's the opposite of being honest--you're working out other issues by hurting another person. Going back, again, to Point 1, you're not going to learn by tearing into someone but by focusing on the craft, the bad and the good. You might, however, learn a great deal by realizing and working on the issues that give you the impulse to attack someone.

5. Say "Do" Instead of "Don't"

Basically constructive criticism. So rather than "ugh I hate this character" or "don't try to write a mystery, ever," (see also Point 4) say what you do want to see. "I think I could better identify with this character if I knew more about what makes her tick," or "The solution would be more satisfying if you gave these clues in Act 1" are far more helpful in improving a work. Building up instead of tearing down also helps you, you guessed it, learn from the feedback you give.

Concrit can be a daunting responsibility, particularly if you're in a position of power such as editor. but you have to accept that responsibility and the possibility of being wrong if you want to grow in your craft. It's also helpful in these moments to...

6. Remember You're Communicating Opinions, Not Dictating Facts

Being reasonable and objective is not the same thing as being objectively right. Accept that reasonable people can disagree. Finally:

7. Educate Yourself

The more you know about your craft, both in theory and practice, the better the quality of your commentary and your command of your craft will be. Remember the purpose is to learn, and keep up your learning both in giving commentary and at other times

Agree? Disagree? What are your own experiences with feedback?

Comments

[inevitableentresol]

I've not heard of an alpha reader before, but the sandwich approach to giving feedback is a longstanding management technique, ie to sandwich one item of constructive criticism between two compliments. I think studies have shown that if you lead with the criticism, our brains actually switch off and refuse to hear the next sentence.

Too much criticism in feedback is definitely unhelpful because our brains just aren't set up in that way, to take critical comment after comment without being affected. If it's a weakness, it's a universal one.

[inkdust]

I don't know how much of a real term alpha reader is but that's what I call the friend who reads my largely unedited first drafts. Reader before beta :)

[inevitableentresol]

I'm wishing I had an alpha reader as it sounds awesome and kind of cosy.

[inkdust]

It was wonderful until mine moved away :(